THE BAD NEWS OF DIVORCE IS THE GOOD NEWS OF THE GOSPEL
- Key Verse
- He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way." (Matthew 19:8)
READ THE PASSAGE
Central Truth
Jesus' strong words regarding divorce reflect a Savior's heart and a desire to show Himself faithful through the faithfulness of His followers. Jesus pleads passionately with His followers to avoid decisions that lead to pain and destruction.
Reflections
The last five years at Watermark have forced me to this passage more times than I can possibly remember.Some might think that my exposure to the reality of divorce on an almost daily basis would cause me to question the validity of Jesus' words here. After all, divorce is about half as common as marriage (i.e. 50% divorce rate), so can anyone really take Jesus' words here seriously? Not only can we, we absolutely must.
Whenever I consider this passage, I am overwhelmed by two great truths about our God.
First, I am struck by the protecting love of a Heavenly Father who knows what is best for us and longs to keep us from those things that will ultimately bring pain and heartache. The impact of divorce, experts say, is second only to the sudden death of a loved one in the way it impacts people emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
The destructive wake of divorce is not limited to just the two people. It also affects children, grandchildren, and the very fabric of society. I have seen firsthand just how devastating it is. In light of all of this, how amazing is the love of our Father that He would speak words of warning and instruction to plead with His children to avoid such consequences.
Second, Jesus' instructions here are the very hope of the gospel He came to proclaim. This covenant love between God the Father and His children, His church, is meant to be the standard for our covenant relationships with one another, namely marriage.
So when Jesus said in Matthew 28:20, "I am with you always, even to the end of the age," He meant it. And when He said, "I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand" (John 10:28), it is an eternal promise that can never be broken. These hard sayings concerning divorce are the good news of the gospel; we have a Savior who is eternally faithful, patient, and passionate about those He loves unconditionally.
Discussion Questions
1. What other encouraging truths about God can be found in these instructions from Jesus regarding divorce?2. Read Hebrews 12:5-6. What other difficult instructions or commandments of Jesus demonstrate His gracious love for us? In what way?
3. What encouragement do you receive from knowing there is a God who loves unconditionally, forgives indefinitely, and protects to ensure that not one of His children called by His name will be snatched away? Who else do you know who could use that reminder today as an encouragement?
FAMILY DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. In verse 8 it says that God originally intended something for marriage, what was that?
2. Is it easy for a man and woman to stay married today? Why do you think it is hard?
3. Do you know what God intended the marriage between a man and a woman to be a picture of?
Comments
The views expressed under “Comments” are solely
those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Watermark Community Church.
Truby McDougal
March 10, 2010 06:46 AM
Great job Wes. It's that second point (covenant relationship) that I struggle with. Too often mine is more contractual in nature. Unfortunantly, that often applies to my relationship with God as well. Our sinful nature wants something in return. Thanks for your leadership at WM.
Gordon Purcey
March 10, 2010 08:34 AM
"The destructive wake of divorce is not limited to just the two people. " How true that is. And if I could also add, almost never mentioned is the impact on the parents of those divorcing. They can experience feelings of failure and regret, wishing they had given better advice, or spoken up at something they noticed in the pre-marriage days. They also are often the ones giving childcare and having to deal with difficult questions from the kids. Thanks, Wes, for you insightful comments and the challenge to remain committed to marriage. And thank God for His amazing grace.
Bill
March 10, 2010 09:12 AM
Wes: I am in complete agreement with what you have said and believe absolutely that this passage in Matthew is true. (Like every other passage in the Bible.) My wife and I have been married 20+ years but have also both been divorced. While we would both tell you that God hates divorce we would also both tell you that we believe God not only brought us together but virtually gave us new life - perhaps even saved our lives - through our divorces and subsequent marriage. Most divorces are destructive just as you declare. But not all. Some offer salvation (not literally of course) and new life. Thank God for his amazing grace.
Rob Thomas
March 10, 2010 09:24 AM
Great words Wes... I'm bringing a guy to ReEngage tonight who is struggling in his marriage and I will probably actually be using your thoughts with him tonight. Thank you so much.
Emily Loerke
March 10, 2010 09:43 AM
It's been a privilege to watch you grow and lead your family well over the past 5 yrs on staff. So grateful you're leading these ministries!
JP
March 10, 2010 01:44 PM
Dear Divorce Expert, You are a brilliant theologian. I am privileged to know you! Thanks for your words!
Kate
March 10, 2010 03:14 PM
Having been through an unwanted divorce myself, I have to say your words are spot on.
Wes Butler
March 10, 2010 03:41 PM
First of all, thanks so much for the kind comments. So grateful. Secondly, a question was posed earlier about Watermark's ministry to singles over the age of 40. If you are interested in finding out how singles of all ages are connecting here at Watermark, go to http://www.watermark.org/adults/adult-singles.html and view the information under the heading "How Do Singles Connect with Other Singles at Watermark?" There you will find many avenues of how singles over 40 and under 40 are connecting with others here. For more information, you can contact our team at SAM@watermark.org.